Siblings, Sobbings.
She has just officially requested that she be my mei mei. For all the wonders that words could do to reject this request, I could only manage a two syllable reply. ‘Okay’. What was I thinking? This family thingy sounds so passé that it almost seems to be a shadow of bygone secondary school days where we too, first became brothers. But it is quite different now. I’m 22. And I have a crush on her. It isn’t so cute anymore. And that seems to be the final nail to our coffin of romance. Bury it.
So I decided to write a dumb short skit/story of the fantasies and repressions which have been loitering in my mind for the past half hour. Because it is cheesy, so by default it has to have certain parts in Chinese with directions in English. No, not that I find my mother tongue lacking, nor am I saying it is dumb. Just that I’m too mother fucking influenced by the cheesy Chinese works I have read and drama series I’ve watched. The setting, as usual, is perhaps more retrospective than modern. I leave you guys to go figure who are the protagonists, but I sure think Guang and Huat bro combined makes a good 月老！Here goes…
Disclaimer: The following material is fictional. Really, it is.
百奥亭的夜色醉人。天上布满了一颗颗闪亮的星星。它们的闪耀仿佛是它们的微笑，它们的星光仿佛是它们的幸福。而那幸福的微笑，仿佛正笼罩在百奥亭下的夜空。之前的雨和云渐渐散开，沙下了一片温暖。
A saxophone solo plays an enchanting(Please, nothing sleazy about it) Careless Whisper in the background. Allegro and Grazioso. It fills the air. Almost intoxicating.
百奥亭中坐着一个芳龄十八的窈窕俏姑娘，和一个血气方刚的青年公子。他们很幸福，他们很温暖，他们也在微笑。She hands him a moon-cake she had made and asks:
姑娘：(mischievously) 六哥，你猜猜看，月饼是单黄还是双簧？
六哥：韵儿，如果是你做的话，那一定是双簧。 你最喜欢成双成对带来的幸福了。
韵儿：真聪明！那你还不 快偿偿我的手艺？
六哥：(frivolously) 哈哈，对，对，对。月饼吃进了肚子里，它们就可以大团圆了！那才是幸福呢。就好像你和我以后成了亲就可以。。。
韵儿：(hits him tenderly) 快别说了！你好讨厌！
He begins to eat the pastry.
六哥：哇！好吃！
She nibbles at her own fraction of moon-cake, steals a glance and smiles to herself seeing that he is so happily eating the moon-cake she had made specially for him. She blushes, but hurriedly says something else least he senses her girlish happiness.
韵儿：(pointing to the sky)六哥，你看今晚的月亮好美呀。
六哥：(cheekily) 月亮再美，也不可能比你美吧！
韵儿：(again, her face goes red) 肉麻… 油腔滑调的. 也不知道你是不是每次说这些话来哄骗女孩子.
六哥: 我没有!我是真心的…你实在是很美.
At this juncture, he leans across and is about to kiss her tenderly when suddenly, an immense eruption of smoke engulfs them. It is thick, and yes, intoxicating in the correct sense of the word. When the cloud of choking smoke finally clears, the couple find themselves in the company of a grossly chubby (albeit cute) and obnoxious figure, dressed like a deity (God mode!!!). He rudely intrudes…
???: (scratching his tummy)你们凡人中哪里有比我还美的? 是你吗? (points to 韵儿)
六哥, 韵儿: (together)你是谁!!!!???!!!
月老: 我就是传说中的月老, 但可别误会, 我并不那么老. 是不是比你们想象中还帅? 还美? (directing his question now to 六哥) 快说, 你是觉得她美些, 还是我美些?
六哥: 靠! 你这样的货色也敢和我的韵儿比? 要不要我撒泡尿让你照照?
月老: (deeply provoked) 我好生气! 我可是月亮里的第一美男子! 我看得到,我听得到, 你们的爱并不那么微妙. 那我就说给你们听…你们不可能在一起的! 你们根本就是同父异母的亲兄妹! (sinisterly)哈哈哈哈哈哈…
六哥: 你别胡说!
月老: 你们两个的右手都有一个半月形的胎记, 你们的老爸也有, 那就是证明你们有血缘关系的证据. 你们若不相信, 可以泜血认亲! 我没空纠缠在你们的情情爱爱中, 还是回月球做我的SK II面膜比较好. 它含有Pitera成分, 能让我的肌肤 QQ的. Bye bye.
Just as suddenly as the apparition had appeared, it vanished instantly. The dual had not really heard 月老’s professions on cosmetic tips. And there was no need for a DNA test. The look on their faces betrays the truth of their common birthmark. Goodness! They were siblings now. It is a bitterly cruel fate. Here, their destiny branches into two endings. If you think dOminic is a world class gentleman and like soapy endings, please read Ending A. If you think dOminic is a psychopath beyond redemption, please proceed directly to Ending B.
Ending A.
L. van Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata plays in the distant. Moderato. Not the most fitting piece, but perhaps the most fitting temperament in the manner it is play.
She is weeping now, the sorrow overcoming her. Her blissful love has, in a split second, transformed into an unethical affection. Perhaps the greatest sorrow is the revelation striking her deeply that she could not do anything to change matters.
六哥: 妹子, 你别哭了. 其实, 这也是没办法…
韵儿: (crying even harder) 我就是偏要哭…你不伤心, 就是你死没良心…
六哥: 妹妹, 你不要难过了. 我做你的哥哥, 也一样会疼你, 照顾你, 关心你. 让我为你准备一个家吧.
韵儿: 我就是偏要难过. 我不要做你的妹妹, 也不要你做我的哥哥. 我不要!我不要!
六哥: 妹妹, 你应该开心才是. 我们也总算有一个大团圆啊.
看着六哥眼神中流泻出的柔情似水, 韵儿更是难以自拔. She kisses him, but he pushes her aside gently. The physical rejection brings home his following statement.
六哥: (tenderly) 妹妹,不行啊…人生不如意的事,十之八九. 没办法改变的事实, 也就只好接受.
She realises for a second time that she was powerless against her fate. She resigns to her sorrow, but puts up a meek smile. Slowly, she mutters…
韵儿: 我明白了…
六哥: (genuinely cheerful and relieved) 你能明白就好了,我们回家吧.
Music fades away softly as the curtains fall. The night is one of unsurpassed conflict. She is reunited with him. She is him. Her heart is bleeding.
Ending B
Johann Strauss’ Radetsky March plays in the foreground. The tempo is overpoweringly lively.
He is weeping now, the sorrow overcoming him. His blissful love has, in a split second, transformed into an unethical affection. Perhaps the greatest sorrow is the revelation striking him deeply that he could not do anything to change matters.
韵儿: 哥, 你别哭了. 能做你的妹妹我已经很满足了. 只要你疼我, 照顾我,关心我,那我们做兄妹也是一样的.
六哥: (with deliberate slowness, a contrast to the music)不…一…样…的…我…不…满…足!
看着他那邪俊的脸孔, 韵儿的心跳快了两拍. 她朝思暮想的情郎一瞬间似乎充满了前所未有的可怜和可爱. He moves closer yet again. Suddenly, he is exhilarated by the insane prospects of being unethical. It would be a stairway to heaven. He kisses her. But the adhesion of their lips was a bonding of blood, not of Love.
韵儿: 啊! 不可以呀! 哥, 你想干嘛?!?
六哥: (lustfully)哈哈! 我想和你大团圆!
He unbuttons the first button on her collar. She resists and brilliantly executes a 猴子偷桃 , and squeezes until the juicy peach becomes rather deformed from any traces of masculinity. OUCH! She pushes him aside roughly.
At first, the pain is so intense that he is left rolling on the ground. But as he recovers slowly, he realises that人生不如意的事,十之八九. 没办法改变的事实, 也就只好接受. There must be another way to release his pent up frustrations. Then the idea came.
六哥: 月老啊月老! 快回来呀! 你才是最美最美的!
As if 月老 had been lurking around all the while, he suddenly reappears, (without the smoke this time) donning a facial mask.
月老: 真的吗? 也不知道你是不是每次说这些话来哄骗人家.
But he doesn’t really care what月老is saying. He kisses月老 in a wet, passionate manner.
月老: (shocked)你想干嘛??!??
六哥: (beyond all issues of morality)哈哈! 我想和你大团圆!
He proceeds to rape 月老, while his dearest 妹妹 watches the horrific deed in abject disgust.
Music is now a mess of double quick time staccato. Curtains fall. The night is one of unrivalled lust and psychotic evil.
Hmm… had quite a lot of fun doing this one. At least it took my mind off her for a while. I preferred Ending B personally because transposing Guang bro(no offence meant) as 月老, it becomes homoerotic and incestuous at the same time. It is so warped that it is doubly disgusting. Hahahaha. This is purely for entertainment purposes, so please don’t sue me for 2million bucks. I won’t have the money also.
Sigh…人生不如意的事,十之八九. 没办法改变的事实, 也就只好接受 .
So I decided to write a dumb short skit/story of the fantasies and repressions which have been loitering in my mind for the past half hour. Because it is cheesy, so by default it has to have certain parts in Chinese with directions in English. No, not that I find my mother tongue lacking, nor am I saying it is dumb. Just that I’m too mother fucking influenced by the cheesy Chinese works I have read and drama series I’ve watched. The setting, as usual, is perhaps more retrospective than modern. I leave you guys to go figure who are the protagonists, but I sure think Guang and Huat bro combined makes a good 月老！Here goes…
Disclaimer: The following material is fictional. Really, it is.
百奥亭的夜色醉人。天上布满了一颗颗闪亮的星星。它们的闪耀仿佛是它们的微笑，它们的星光仿佛是它们的幸福。而那幸福的微笑，仿佛正笼罩在百奥亭下的夜空。之前的雨和云渐渐散开，沙下了一片温暖。
A saxophone solo plays an enchanting(Please, nothing sleazy about it) Careless Whisper in the background. Allegro and Grazioso. It fills the air. Almost intoxicating.
百奥亭中坐着一个芳龄十八的窈窕俏姑娘，和一个血气方刚的青年公子。他们很幸福，他们很温暖，他们也在微笑。She hands him a moon-cake she had made and asks:
姑娘：(mischievously) 六哥，你猜猜看，月饼是单黄还是双簧？
六哥：韵儿，如果是你做的话，那一定是双簧。 你最喜欢成双成对带来的幸福了。
韵儿：真聪明！那你还不 快偿偿我的手艺？
六哥：(frivolously) 哈哈，对，对，对。月饼吃进了肚子里，它们就可以大团圆了！那才是幸福呢。就好像你和我以后成了亲就可以。。。
韵儿：(hits him tenderly) 快别说了！你好讨厌！
He begins to eat the pastry.
六哥：哇！好吃！
She nibbles at her own fraction of moon-cake, steals a glance and smiles to herself seeing that he is so happily eating the moon-cake she had made specially for him. She blushes, but hurriedly says something else least he senses her girlish happiness.
韵儿：(pointing to the sky)六哥，你看今晚的月亮好美呀。
六哥：(cheekily) 月亮再美，也不可能比你美吧！
韵儿：(again, her face goes red) 肉麻… 油腔滑调的. 也不知道你是不是每次说这些话来哄骗女孩子.
六哥: 我没有!我是真心的…你实在是很美.
At this juncture, he leans across and is about to kiss her tenderly when suddenly, an immense eruption of smoke engulfs them. It is thick, and yes, intoxicating in the correct sense of the word. When the cloud of choking smoke finally clears, the couple find themselves in the company of a grossly chubby (albeit cute) and obnoxious figure, dressed like a deity (God mode!!!). He rudely intrudes…
???: (scratching his tummy)你们凡人中哪里有比我还美的? 是你吗? (points to 韵儿)
六哥, 韵儿: (together)你是谁!!!!???!!!
月老: 我就是传说中的月老, 但可别误会, 我并不那么老. 是不是比你们想象中还帅? 还美? (directing his question now to 六哥) 快说, 你是觉得她美些, 还是我美些?
六哥: 靠! 你这样的货色也敢和我的韵儿比? 要不要我撒泡尿让你照照?
月老: (deeply provoked) 我好生气! 我可是月亮里的第一美男子! 我看得到,我听得到, 你们的爱并不那么微妙. 那我就说给你们听…你们不可能在一起的! 你们根本就是同父异母的亲兄妹! (sinisterly)哈哈哈哈哈哈…
六哥: 你别胡说!
月老: 你们两个的右手都有一个半月形的胎记, 你们的老爸也有, 那就是证明你们有血缘关系的证据. 你们若不相信, 可以泜血认亲! 我没空纠缠在你们的情情爱爱中, 还是回月球做我的SK II面膜比较好. 它含有Pitera成分, 能让我的肌肤 QQ的. Bye bye.
Just as suddenly as the apparition had appeared, it vanished instantly. The dual had not really heard 月老’s professions on cosmetic tips. And there was no need for a DNA test. The look on their faces betrays the truth of their common birthmark. Goodness! They were siblings now. It is a bitterly cruel fate. Here, their destiny branches into two endings. If you think dOminic is a world class gentleman and like soapy endings, please read Ending A. If you think dOminic is a psychopath beyond redemption, please proceed directly to Ending B.
Ending A.
L. van Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata plays in the distant. Moderato. Not the most fitting piece, but perhaps the most fitting temperament in the manner it is play.
She is weeping now, the sorrow overcoming her. Her blissful love has, in a split second, transformed into an unethical affection. Perhaps the greatest sorrow is the revelation striking her deeply that she could not do anything to change matters.
六哥: 妹子, 你别哭了. 其实, 这也是没办法…
韵儿: (crying even harder) 我就是偏要哭…你不伤心, 就是你死没良心…
六哥: 妹妹, 你不要难过了. 我做你的哥哥, 也一样会疼你, 照顾你, 关心你. 让我为你准备一个家吧.
韵儿: 我就是偏要难过. 我不要做你的妹妹, 也不要你做我的哥哥. 我不要!我不要!
六哥: 妹妹, 你应该开心才是. 我们也总算有一个大团圆啊.
看着六哥眼神中流泻出的柔情似水, 韵儿更是难以自拔. She kisses him, but he pushes her aside gently. The physical rejection brings home his following statement.
六哥: (tenderly) 妹妹,不行啊…人生不如意的事,十之八九. 没办法改变的事实, 也就只好接受.
She realises for a second time that she was powerless against her fate. She resigns to her sorrow, but puts up a meek smile. Slowly, she mutters…
韵儿: 我明白了…
六哥: (genuinely cheerful and relieved) 你能明白就好了,我们回家吧.
Music fades away softly as the curtains fall. The night is one of unsurpassed conflict. She is reunited with him. She is him. Her heart is bleeding.
Ending B
Johann Strauss’ Radetsky March plays in the foreground. The tempo is overpoweringly lively.
He is weeping now, the sorrow overcoming him. His blissful love has, in a split second, transformed into an unethical affection. Perhaps the greatest sorrow is the revelation striking him deeply that he could not do anything to change matters.
韵儿: 哥, 你别哭了. 能做你的妹妹我已经很满足了. 只要你疼我, 照顾我,关心我,那我们做兄妹也是一样的.
六哥: (with deliberate slowness, a contrast to the music)不…一…样…的…我…不…满…足!
看着他那邪俊的脸孔, 韵儿的心跳快了两拍. 她朝思暮想的情郎一瞬间似乎充满了前所未有的可怜和可爱. He moves closer yet again. Suddenly, he is exhilarated by the insane prospects of being unethical. It would be a stairway to heaven. He kisses her. But the adhesion of their lips was a bonding of blood, not of Love.
韵儿: 啊! 不可以呀! 哥, 你想干嘛?!?
六哥: (lustfully)哈哈! 我想和你大团圆!
He unbuttons the first button on her collar. She resists and brilliantly executes a 猴子偷桃 , and squeezes until the juicy peach becomes rather deformed from any traces of masculinity. OUCH! She pushes him aside roughly.
At first, the pain is so intense that he is left rolling on the ground. But as he recovers slowly, he realises that人生不如意的事,十之八九. 没办法改变的事实, 也就只好接受. There must be another way to release his pent up frustrations. Then the idea came.
六哥: 月老啊月老! 快回来呀! 你才是最美最美的!
As if 月老 had been lurking around all the while, he suddenly reappears, (without the smoke this time) donning a facial mask.
月老: 真的吗? 也不知道你是不是每次说这些话来哄骗人家.
But he doesn’t really care what月老is saying. He kisses月老 in a wet, passionate manner.
月老: (shocked)你想干嘛??!??
六哥: (beyond all issues of morality)哈哈! 我想和你大团圆!
He proceeds to rape 月老, while his dearest 妹妹 watches the horrific deed in abject disgust.
Music is now a mess of double quick time staccato. Curtains fall. The night is one of unrivalled lust and psychotic evil.
Hmm… had quite a lot of fun doing this one. At least it took my mind off her for a while. I preferred Ending B personally because transposing Guang bro(no offence meant) as 月老, it becomes homoerotic and incestuous at the same time. It is so warped that it is doubly disgusting. Hahahaha. This is purely for entertainment purposes, so please don’t sue me for 2million bucks. I won’t have the money also.
Sigh…人生不如意的事,十之八九. 没办法改变的事实, 也就只好接受 .
posted by sUmmEr heAt at 11:28 AM
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