A Lonely Night.

Say, I have prohibited the idea of having a girlfriend. It is a breech of my freedOm. All in the good name of fun, here I have with me a couple of scenarios which I’ve seen with good faith and my possible responses. You tell me, if I am worthy of a girlfriend at all.

Let’s say I’ve a girlfriend who is sweet and demure…
dOm: Let’s get married.
Girl A: But you don’t have a house.
dOm: Its okay. We can get married then you stay with your parents while I stay with mine. If you really love me, you won’t need a house as a substantial reason to get married with me…

Let’s say I’ve a girlfriend who fails her module…these will be my consoling words..
dOm: Hmmm fail never mind…just take it as a chance to get to know new friends.
Girl B: But then I don’t want to get to know new friends.
dOm: Er…then I think we should stop seeing each other because then it will not affect your studies. And also, I think you are dumb, and I don’t go out with girls who are intellectually challenged. Plus you were lesbian last time…

Let’s say I’ve a girlfriend who is darn possessive and clingy.
Girl C: Dear, I want to do everything with you.
dOm: Ahhh… Great!!!! Now we can have some threesome fun… I never thought you would have agreed to it!

Let’s say I’ve a girlfriend who will coerce me into not joining some Latin dance class.
Girl D: Hey, I don’t like the idea of you going to Latin dance because you will be groping other girls.
dOm: Okay…let’s break then. Then chu nite, I can arse chu gals chu dance with me to my hearts content. I know this might sound Unbeliftable (Unbelievable), but there is actually a gal who wanted to keep me in her breast pocket. Talk about the groping.

Let’s say I’ve a girlfriend who likes public display of affection.
Girl E: Let’s make out in your brothers nice little car…
dOm: Oh yeah…sure. Let me think of a nice plot in the mean time. (think bangbus)

Let’s say I’ve a girlfriend who is going to Yellow Stone National Park for 3 months.
Girl F: Hey, I’ll be going to the States for three months to see some hot springs. Be good.
dOm: Hey, that’s swell. I’ll be checking out every good looking girl and making sure they squirt like the Old Geyser.

Let’s say I’ve a girlfriend who bears an uncanny resemblance to Cyndi.
Girl G: Hmm, my friends think I look like Cyndi.
(dOm puts fingers into his mouth and gives a perverted look) ‘Nuff said.

Let’s say I’ve a girlfriend who doesn’t know that you need to have sex before you can get pregnant.
Girl H: I didn’t know you need to have sex to get pregnant.
dOm: (wondering to himself) Don’t you people attend Civics and Moral Education Classes?
dOm: (aloud) Yar…That’s exactly why I never believed in chastity. That’s why we should have sex like 7 times a week or more. Don’t worry, that is just an old wives tale.

Okay…end of the scenarios. I think personal freedOm is more crucial than having someone to have lunch with between lessons. And besides, with my attitude and mentality, I think I better spare the girls. It is at times like this when I’m a little high on my brandy drinks that I start thinking about the need for a better half. My conclusion is, it is not worth trying too hard to look for a girl who probably will not accept my flawed lifestyle, mannerisms and attitude. But then again, with warped poetry and flowing words, do I really need a girlfriend?

So this is a poem I’ve put together after a couple of drinks for the good time’s sake. If I had to choose between FreedOm and ‘girlfriend’, I’ll gladly choose the former. At least that leaves me the possibility of drinking another few glasses of whatever I like.

dOm: Brandy Water please. No ice.

A Lonely Night

Beneath the valleys lie the meadows,
A plentiful sight of God’s endows.
Inside the view rests the windows,
Within it hides a man in the shadows,
Where he remains as Love’s only widow.

Now friends have left for greener pastures,
And his fragile heart is left to rapture.
The crimson setting sun leaves much to capture,
Before the leaves succumb to their nightly torture.

The full moo is but a monthly rarity,
Between the days mark a gradual disparity…
But through the years the woman shows no Charity.

Let the stallions gallop forever more in the fields.
Their FreedOm is my only shield…

Against a lonely night as such.